Who's Who
An introduction to friends, enemies and my cousin Steve, the ninja
Sherlock Holmes
Born to Bill and Brenda Holmes in London, England, Sherlock is the first member of the Holmes family to break away from the family-run Meat Pie stand company (their slogan is “Nice to Meat You”) and venture into the realm of extreme crime fighting and yelling. After much success busting criminals, skateboarder punks, no-gooders and warewolves all over the world, Hollywood took interest in his turbo awesome life and made him into the star he is today.
Dr. John Watson
After attending trade school for wagon-wheel repair, John decided his true calling was in veterinary services. Upon completion of a three day online course, he was given his doctorate degree (mainly for attendance) and opened an exotic shoe store in the LondonWood Mall. One day while buying a pair of hampster-lined Uggs, Sherlock Holmes was introduced to Dr. Watson (and his keen sense of innocent agreement) and decided to take him under his wing.
Dr. Hurricane
As a child, Dr. Hurricane (aka, Carl Winks) was fascinated with the weather. Often times, he would wrap himself in foil and stand on the roof of his father’s tool shed during thunderstorms—taunting the sky with vulgarity and a slingshot filled with raisins. Somewhere between kindergarten and a stint at the School for Habitual Bed-Wetters, he became evil.—not to mention, super annoying. He has no friends.
Sharon Love
Sharon grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles with her parents, Skip and Trisha, and her little brother, Brian. After graduating from UCLA with a degree in Political Science, she somehow got caught up with Sherlock Holmes and all his drama. Dating on and off for the last ten years, she and Sherlock have a common-law marriage (despite his womanizing) for tax puproses. Skip hates Sherlock and once chased him off their front lawn with a garden hose.
Steve the Ninja
Steve is a tool. Nobody likes him and the only reason he’s on this page is because Sherlock’s mother is making us (just like she made us put him in the movie). Steve once accidentally locked himself in the trunk of his dad’s Toyota Tercel for 2 days. When his sister finally found him, he said that he had been abducted by pirates. He pees his pants a lot.
STEVE’S MOM, KATHY, WON’T LET HIM HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT